Here’s a good ole throwback post from my blog…from 4 years ago that someone just commented on…enjoy:
The Winter Olympics Suck
Only once every four years do things like pushing rocks on ice and sliding down a giant ice tube on top of another person get prime time coverage on NBC, it must be time for the winter Olympics.
To be clear, my loathing of the winter Olympics is not born out of my personal dislike of winter in general. There are legitimate reasons why they suck.
First of all, the sports that are highlighted in the winder Olympics are dumb. The Olympics were born out of a festival to honor the Greek gods. To celebrate, all the Greeks got butt naked and ran around, threw rocks, read poetry, and wrestled…naked. Point being, they were stripped down because the Greeks honored not just the gods but the human form and all it could accomplish, which is why they included intellectual events because for some reason they thought thinking was something to be proud of.
So the Olympics are about honoring all that our bodies can do and how we can best kill each other. But the luge? There are no giant ice tubes going from Marathon to Athens. And they were definitely trying hard to find filler sports for the winter Olympics when they added another person to the luge. If you really want to luge on top of your buddy, go get a room, or some sort of indoor ice tube.
Curling, as cool as it might be, is another dumb one. It’s not a sport, it’s a recreation activity. No sport that allows you to be obese and completely hammered while doing should not be an Olympic sport…or else Bowling belongs in the summer Olympics.
Biathlon could be argued to be in the same spirit as the original Greek games. If the army is skiing through the Alps it has to shoot people, that’s reasonable. It seems pretty straight foreword, but most probably don’t know that there are a whopping TEN biathlon events:
Men’s and Women’s:
15K Mass start
4 x 7.5K Relay
This really gets at the root of the problem with the Winter Olympics; it’s a struggle to find goofy winter sports to fill two weeks of prime time television. Just because NBC has the 3 am spot open doesn’t mean they have to add another speed skating event (there are 20).
Plus, I’m sick of listening to Morgan Freeman every commercial break narrate some overly dramatic heart breaking story about Curling.
Plus I hate the over-dramatization of the Olympic athletes. OK, it’s hard for a network to introduce a person and sport that we would normally never lift a finger to change the channel and watch. They figure by playing out Apolo Ohno’s life story and struggles enough we’ll feel like we know him and give a crap for two weeks every four years.
Plus I hate ‘sports’ that have some arbitrary judging system like figure skating. The Olympics have even managed to include some arbitrary scoring system into something as straight foreword as ski jumping.
The weird sport aspect and judging combine in the moguls. Not only do you have to race down the hill over a bunch of bumps, but you have to do jumps in the middle that you get scored on.
However there is one good sport: speed skating, mostly because it’s just like crit racing and there’s more crashes in speed skating than the Daytona 500. Check out the medal race from Salt Lake, and why it pays off to tail gun a pack: