The Winter Olympics Suck

Here’s a good ole throwback post from my blog…from 4 years ago that someone just commented on…enjoy:

The Winter Olympics Suck

Only once every four years do things like pushing rocks on ice and sliding down a giant ice tube on top of another person get prime time coverage on NBC, it must be time for the winter Olympics.

To be clear, my loathing of the winter Olympics is not born out of my personal dislike of winter in general. There are legitimate reasons why they suck.

First of all, the sports that are highlighted in the winder Olympics are dumb. The Olympics were born out of a festival to honor the Greek gods. To celebrate, all the Greeks got butt naked and ran around, threw rocks, read poetry, and wrestled…naked. Point being, they were stripped down because the Greeks honored not just the gods but the human form and all it could accomplish, which is why they included intellectual events because for some reason they thought thinking was something to be proud of.

They were also a competition where the city states showed off their best warriors in competitions born out of combat, sort of like scouting without the under table contracts before the signing deadline.

So the Olympics are about honoring all that our bodies can do and how we can best kill each other. But the luge? There are no giant ice tubes going from Marathon to Athens. And they were definitely trying hard to find filler sports for the winter Olympics when they added another person to the luge. If you really want to luge on top of your buddy, go get a room, or some sort of indoor ice tube.

Curling, as cool as it might be, is another dumb one. It’s not a sport, it’s a recreation activity. No sport that allows you to be obese and completely hammered while doing should not be an Olympic sport…or else Bowling belongs in the summer Olympics.

Biathlon could be argued to be in the same spirit as the original Greek games. If the army is skiing through the Alps it has to shoot people, that’s reasonable. It seems pretty straight foreword, but most probably don’t know that there are a whopping TEN biathlon events:
Men’s and Women’s:
10K sprint
12.5K pursuit
15K Mass start
20K individual
4 x 7.5K Relay

This really gets at the root of the problem with the Winter Olympics; it’s a struggle to find goofy winter sports to fill two weeks of prime time television. Just because NBC has the 3 am spot open doesn’t mean they have to add another speed skating event (there are 20).

Plus, I’m sick of listening to Morgan Freeman every commercial break narrate some overly dramatic heart breaking story about Curling.
Plus I hate the over-dramatization of the Olympic athletes. OK, it’s hard for a network to introduce a person and sport that we would normally never lift a finger to change the channel and watch. They figure by playing out Apolo Ohno’s life story and struggles enough we’ll feel like we know him and give a crap for two weeks every four years.

Plus I hate ‘sports’ that have some arbitrary judging system like figure skating. The Olympics have even managed to include some arbitrary scoring system into something as straight foreword as ski jumping.

The weird sport aspect and judging combine in the moguls. Not only do you have to race down the hill over a bunch of bumps, but you have to do jumps in the middle that you get scored on.

However there is one good sport: speed skating, mostly because it’s just like crit racing and there’s more crashes in speed skating than the Daytona 500. Check out the medal race from Salt Lake, and why it pays off to tail gun a pack:


TOAD pt. 2

Yesterday was the rest day in the Tour of America’s Dairlyand. So, as most P-R-O’s would rest there legs and be boring, we drank beer. After an early morning recovery ride to the beach of lake Michigan, we decided to tour a brewery, paying homage to the great Wisconsin tradition of drinking.

The original plan was to tour the Miller factory, but after some debate and fact finding we discovered that the Miller tour was not quite as cool as it used to be, mainly because they have out less free beer. Instead we decided to follow a recommendation of one of our host families and tour the Lakefront Brewery. This turned out to be a great tour, and the best $6 I’ve ever spent. For my $6 I received the tour, a nice Lakefront Brewery Pint Glass, and Unlimited sampling of the beers offered from the brewery. Not only was our tour guide awesome, and really happy if you know what I mean, but he also knew the drink was the main reason we were all on the tour and encouraged us to sample the many brews.

Unfortunately we did have to get back to the racing action. Tuesday was the Fond du Lac Road Race. The course was fairly easy, but because of the heat, which was around 100 degrees during race time, and lack of shade, the race played out more like an extremely mountainous stage. We got Greg into an early move of eight, which was the game plan. However by the halfway point of the race any game plan went out the window. People were dropping out of the race like it was the cool thing to do. I got into, and was really struggling to stay in, a move with series leader Frank Pipp and Adam Bergman which stayed away for half a lap, but those guys were too marked and the field caught us after the feed zone. The next lap we passed Greg who had blew sky high from the breakaway. I was starting to get chills and blurry vision, so I decided to drop out, but before I got to the feed zone I tried to drill it for about a mile so Dan could get across to the leaders, I ended up dropping most the field except for a few including Dan, the blew up myself, my heart rate not leaving the 210’s. I finished the race early and sat in the shade delirious for about 10 minutes before I could muster up enough strength to get up and get changed.
Today’s our last day at TOAD so hopefully we can finally crack the top five, which has seemed to elude us the entire series. After that it’s back to Purdue, the back home to Michigan for my brother’s graduation party, then maybe Grandview?
Anyway here are some pictures I’ve snapped, and am finally able to upload now that we have the Internet figured out here at the host housing. Most of the pictures are from Thrusday’s Road Race that I sat out for the most part.
This is the Leaders coming up the big climb with two laps to go.
Dan also dropped out but was sure to recover right while returning his neutral wheel.

Greg with 300 meters to go.
For whatever weird reason the town was really into Trolls.
Derek giving Greg some motivation on the final climb to the finish, the grade here is over 12%.

The results of my crash.

Finally some pics of our recovery days in downtown Milwaukee.